Classroom Blues
by Anime Lover Motoko
Summary: Roy has finally become Furer and Riza is by his side, when his daughters class is cancelled all hell breaks loose! AN this is my first story so I forgot to put Chapters in sorry P


**It Begins…**

"Oh, come on honey," said as sidled closer to blonde haired woman "You know how much you love taking them to school," he pleaded. A gun appeared against the hand pressed to her thigh

"Take them to school or I'll break it," she concluded.

Roy sighed as he went over what he had done to get himself into this position. He started to tap the pencil against the desk while looking over his classroom. _What happened next? Ahh yes, stupid principal with stupid teachers that's what. _He thought as he started to tap harder against the desk.

"I'm sorry but your child's class is not on today because of a shortage of teachers," sniveled a aged principal "Unless one of you has any experience with military services and community services you will all have to take your children home" a bunch of teachers came to the Principal whispered in her ear and then "Mr. Mustang? Ahh, there you are" she pointed him out "Come up here please" she motioned. Roy stood up and calmly made his way toward the podium smooth as silk. "Mr. Mustang my staff have opted you to take the place of our missing teacher Mrs. Nottahear (haha geddit?) Would you be kind enough to take a few days off being Furer and be our teacher for the next month?" she pleaded. Roy was shocked, he had never before been a teacher, well not formally anyway (thinks of Ed) but in front of all these parents and students he had to say yes. "I would be honoured to" he graciously replied "Thank-you Mr. Mustang for being our very first male teacher on staff!" she said as the parents started to depart from the premises. "First male teacher," Roy whispered quietly to himself as he froze on the steps. It all flooded back. His daughter complaining about the boys at her public school. Him reasoning with her. Him nearly getting shot in the foot by both an agitated mother and daughter. Him giving in. Him filling out the application form to a…. ALL GIRLS PRIVATE SCHOOL! Coming to reality he looked at the empty seats and the hole he had dug in his desk with his pencil. He sighed, 31 girls in one classroom, he should be happy. The bell rings. It has begun…

**

* * *

**

**Week One: Daydream or Nightmare? **

Roy watched the girls file in groups through the door into the classroom Roy pretended not to see or hear the whispers and glances thrown his way

"He's hot…"

"Wonder if he's single?"

"See the ring on his finger stupid!"

"My god am I going to stay in this class"

"Your lucky to have such a hot dad Jacqueline"

Roy sat up and glanced around to his daughter sitting at her desk with her straight blonde hair hanging around her face covering her piercing black eyes. Roy gulped and turned to face the board. _Oh my god I didn't know she was going to be in my class, I hope I don't totally embarrass her. _Roy turned toward the class, his smile quieting them as they contemplated how handsome he was.

"Now, can anyone tell me what we are doing in this class or are we going to sit here staring at me all day?" Roy questioned, a bronzed girl with golden brown hair put up her hand, "Yes?"

"I have no problem with looking at you all day sir" she sighed

"Me to sir," said the dark girl at the back of the class

"Neither do I uh, um, what's your name?" Roy asked

"Jade, sir" replied the bronze girl

"Amy, sir" said the dark girl

"Oh, okay Jade Amy, neither do I but your principal won't be happy, and don't call me sir, call me Mustang or Roy," he smiled and a few girls sighed

"So what are we doing?" Roy asked again

"We are supposed to working on the Ishbalan Wars, sir I mean Roy," pipes Amy. Roy froze the calm look on his face replaced by a terrified whiteness.

"Are you alright Mustang?" questioned Jade

"How much have you done on this subject?" stammered Roy turning toward the blackboard to hide his whitening face.

"We have gotten up to where the State Alchemists came in to control the masses," replied Amy

"…" Roy thought over the wording the situation had been put _control the masses hey hmmm they really are covering up the truth._

"Okay class, you have all been told a lie. The whole Ishbalan wars scenario did not have the right to be called anything other than a massacre," Roy calmly stated 

"But sir," said Amy

"Don't but sir me my name is Roy and its true I was there I was one of the Alchemists there," Roy explains quietly if words could kill they would all be dead

"Now listen," Roy said even more quietly "You have grown up thinking that the military always has a reason to do what it id but you are wrong the Ishbalan wars had no reason except that the military was scared,"

Jacqueline started to get a bit scared, only once before had she asked her dad about the Ishbalan wars and he had set her bed on fire… Roy started to rant and rave about the stupidity of the old military government

"Dad stop," Jacqueline shouted, Roy just got louder until he snapped his fingers and set his table on fire. The girls started screaming and ran out of the classroom. Roy sighs and tries to put out the fire as the alarm goes off. Somewhere down the hall the girls started to scream again as the sped back toward their classroom. Roy wondered why until he started to get rained on by the automatic fire sprinklers. The girls ran back into the room completely soaked from head to toe and Roy was having a field day. Now let me tell you a bit about this school they are very strict about their dress code. Black shoes, black tights, black skirt and…White long sleeved tops. Roy's eyes glazed over as he watched the girl's mill about the classroom out of the direct water spray he'd never seen this many girls with wet tops in his life. Roy was bought to reality when a very cold, wet hand was whacked across his face.

"Ouch, what was that for!" complained Roy

"Stop looking at everybody like that couldn't you have controlled your temper a bit more," fumed Jacqueline

"But sweetie they deserve to know the truth and come on, I'm a guy," Roy spread out his arms to emphasize the last comment

"Don't sweetie me dad, I should shoot you right here, mum would have," she replied a gun poking Roy's chest "Way to start a week dad," Jacqueline stormed off to help her friends outside.

The rest of the week was about the same except for the setting to fire of things and being slapped by his daughter. Roy was still smarting from the mild concussion he got from the gun Riza had whacked against his forehead a couple of times so forgot to set any homework for his students. Making him an instant favorite among them. Roy finished the week off by telling the rest of his team (aka. Havoc, Fuery, Falman & Breda) why he wasn't going to be going to work for at least a month.

"Do you think you could get one to go out with me?" asked Havoc eyes lighting up

"Did you really set the desk on fire, sir?" queried Fuery

"I still can't believe you can live near that dog!" said Breda

"Sir, who is going to be your second in charge?" questioned Falman

"Okay, first things first, Havoc they are to young for you, yes I did set the desk on fire, and third Riza's in charge while I'm away," Roy explained to his crew

"Oh come on Roy I'm not that old," complained Havoc

"Yes you are so shut up about it," snapped Roy pretending to forget to tell him of his student's infatuation with their teacher.

"Well I guess you should be going Roy or else you will be late for dinner, again," commented Fuery.

"Thank-you Fuery for the update I will see you around," said Roy quite quickly making an exit.

* * *

**Week Two: Assistant Teacher**

"I can't do this on my own," cried Roy laying on their bed

"You can Roy, so stop acting like a child," replied Riza snaking her arm around Roy's shoulders

"You aren't there all day watching them pass note's around, giggling. I'm serious Riza at lunch I have no one to talk to that does not think that I'm trying to hit on them!" Roy cried

"Why don't you ask one of your group to be an assistant teacher to help you along?" Riza suggested

"I can't, Havoc would hit on them, Breda would get scared of girls, Falman's to serious and Fuery's got to much to do!" Roy said counting them off with his fingers

"What about Edward?" Riza said

"He's out of town," Roy sighed

"No actually he's not, he called me saying he's coming round today to report to you, get dressed," said Riza chucking some clothes on top of Roy.

Roy got changed just as Edward rung the doorbell.

"Come in Ed," called out Roy stepping into the hallway

"Hi, Mustang" said Ed as he sat down on the couch

"Ed, before you go shoving those papers in my face could you do something for me," Roy said. Ed's eyebrows popped up as he listened to Roy's proposition.

"No way, are you crazy!" Ed shouted

"Oh come on Ed only a few day's a week," pleaded Roy

"HAVE YOU LOST ALL SENSE! I'M 28 AND HALF THOSE GIRLS WILL BE TALLER THAN ME!" cried Ed

"Do it Ed," whispered Roy dangerously

"No," came the short reply. Roy snapped his fingers just as Ed transmuted his blade, dodging the flames that licked his coat.

"COME ON ED DON"T MAKE THIS HARDER THAN IT ALREADY IS," shouted Roy flaming Ed's back

"NEVER AGAIN," shouted Ed slashing at Roy's face

"QUIET!" yelled Riza as she shot the ceiling three times quieting the up roar.

Riza looked at the damage the two caused, the ceiling other than having shot marks was a sooty black, the curtains were ripped and smoking Roy had quite a few scratches on his face and clothing and Ed's hair and coat was singed.

"Okay you two, you are BOTH going to be teachers to those girls and you are BOTH going to behave like civilized people while doing it, that means no blowing up about your height and no making fun of his height, Roy that means you," said Riza pointing in his direction.

"Come on Ed we are going to be late," called out Roy shouting from the car Ed trudged up the driveway to Roy swearing under his breath.

"You don't look that happy Edo-kun," said Roy in a sing-song voice

"Shut up and drive Roy," Ed complained.

As the entered the school grounds Ed could see the immediate changing's in his surroundings. The girls stopped what they were doing and immediately started to whisper and point at the car.

"Uh, Roy why are they pointing at your car?" questioned Ed

"I've gotten quite a reputation around here," replied Roy

"With what?" Ed said thinking of something quite perverted

"I'm the first male teacher to ever grace these halls,"

"WHAT?" cried Ed

"See if I had told you that before you would have run away now you have to come," grinned Roy.

Ed pouted as they made their way down the halls to the classroom D4. Ed looked at the sign and swore making a couple of passing teachers look up surprised.

"Watch your mouth kid," said Roy opening the door.

Inside, the class was already assembled. As they entered the girls started to say good morning until they saw Ed. Then the whispering began.

"Oh my god isn't he just the cutest" squealed one girl

"Is he single?" asked another

"Yes!" cried another

"What's he doing here for?" said another

"GIRLS," shouted Roy calming them down "This is my assistant teacher Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist," watching the words sink in he added "Treat him as you would me,".

"Why is he so short Roy?" asked Amy

Roy smiled as a dark cloud started to appear across Ed.

"Oh can't you see your annoying him," cried Jade

"What? Do you like short stuff or something?"

"So what if I do?"

"Haha you like short stuff!" Ed started to go a very dark purple as he tried not to lash out at Amy.

"SHUT UP,"

"This is just to rich!"

"That's it," Jade ran across to Amy and slapped her hard across the face

"You BIATCH" Amy screamed as she scratched Jade's arm

The girls screamed and attacked each other with such a force that you could not see where the hand was going until it reached it's destination.

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU BEFORE YOU KILL SOME ONE" shouted Roy as Ed regained his regular colour. Ed walked over to the pair and gulped Amy was his height and Jade was at least three inches taller than him, suddenly

"Wouldyougooutwithme," whispered Jade

"Huh?" replied Ed

"Would you go out with me," Jade said louder, Ed looked shocked and Amy looked even worse, Roy meanwhile was having hysterics.

"Uh, sure?" replied Ed uneasily this just made Roy laugh harder. Then it went quiet, Ed turned to see Roy collapse from not enough oxygen.

------------------------Two Days Later-------------------------

"Why all of a sudden taking me out to dinner Roy?" asked Riza as they made their way to a very, VERY nice restaurant in the middle of Central

"No special reason except for me loving you," replied Roy wrapping his arms around her shoulders

"Would this have anything to do with Fullmetal's date tonight?"

"Uh, no,"

"I cannot believe you sometimes Roy!"

"Darling," Roy pleaded as Riza turned to go home

"Hi, Mustang," called out a group of teenaged girls heading toward the restaurant

"Hi girls," said Roy switching to his playboy face. SLAP.

"What was that for?" cried Roy as he rubbed his cheek

"I guess I'll have to come to keep you out of flirting with girls WHO ARE HALF YOUR AGE!" screamed Riza as she stalked off in the direction of the brightly lit restaurant.

"Uh, hi Jade," stammered Ed as he handed her a bouquet of flowers

"Oh how sweet!" she squealed as she smelt the freshly picked wild flowers. Ed blushed a bright shade of red as he led Jade from her doorway.

"Our reservations at 8 we should get going," Ed replied turning his face toward the pavement

"I guess we should, are we walking or taking a cab?"

"A cab," he said as he led her toward the open door of a black military vehicle. As the car left the driveway cameras were heard clicking as sighs were heard from behind bushes.

As the car turned into the brightly lit restaurant driveway, Roy walked into the door with Riza by his side. A very dirty look on her face. _I wonder if pipsqueak's here yet?_ Thought Roy as he looked around the crowded restaurant. Roy froze as he analysed the faces of half of the restaurant. His class! They were in groups like vultures staring at the door waiting for they're unsuspecting pray to walk into their hands. Roy gulped, as he knew what was under the table, in purses and coat pockets. Cameras. _Oh well, guess I didn't need to bring this after all _he thought as he fished a disposable out of his pocket.

Ed very regally opened the car door for Jade. She stepped out into the light dazzling passers by. She wore a very beautiful strapless white evening dress with diamantes and a fishtail skirt. In her hair was a mock tiara. The silver set off by her golden hair tied in a bun. She also wore a white crystal necklace that matched her earrings perfectly. Ed was just as handsome as her beautiful with a night black suit, pristine white shirt and golden locks in a special pony tail just for the occasion. The only thing marring this wonderful evening was a restaurant filled with dreamy high school girls, a colonel who was going to be watching all night and Ed was about 3 inches shorter than his date. Ed remembering this sunk into the ground.

"Don't look like that handsome. I'm only a bit taller than you," Jade comforted resting her hand on Ed's shoulder. Ed blushed as she lightly put a bit of hair behind his ear, bending down close to look into his eyes. **Authors Note**: Remember Jade is wearing a strapless; stiff evening dress, 19, and fairly curvy. Ed blushed profusely trying not to notice how close their faces were and quickly looked into her eyes. He hadn't noticed that they were a curious colour. When he looked into them now he saw them as a chocolaty brown, but before when she was fighting they had seemed an almost black shade. Jade stood back up and walked gracefully toward the stairs leading into the restaurant.

"Come on, it will be fun," she smiled dazzling Ed for second before he quickly regained control and hurried after her.

"Where is he?" whispered Roy to himself as he sat across from Riza.

"Where's who?" queried Riza looking deep into Roy's eyes, Roy shuddered and quickly looked at the menu trying to hide from the stare that was boring through his head. All of a sudden he heard the girlish voices he had gotten so in tune to gasp. Roy turned to see a delightful looking Jade and handsome (thought not as handsome as himself) Edward walk through the door. Riza quickly rapped Roy over the head with the menu and glared at him making Roy give a quiet whimper.

"Ed looks quite the gentleman this evening," Riza said softly pausing to sigh. Roy looked quite shocked as he thought Riza was falling for Ed. Riza quickly regained her composure and prodded the stunned Roy in the chest.

"Ha! So you do feel rejection! Taste of your own medicine hey!" Riza laughed at Roy who gave her a puppy dog pout.

Ed and Jade took their seats across from Roy and Riza not noticing the clicking camera and sighs from the nearby tables.

"Have you ever been here before?" Ed asked trying to remain calm

"No, I've never been to somewhere this fancy," Jade sighed, as she looked around her eyes a glittering light brown. Huh? Light brown? Black, Chocolate, Light Brown? Ed got confused as he watched them change back to a chocolate brown colour as they rested on Ed.

"So, you've noticed my eyes. What do you think? Don't you like them?" Jade cried starting to get frantic

"I could try to keep them one colour! It's just so hard!" Jade's eyes started to water as she looked at Ed who was equally upset about what had just happened.

"No, no, no I love your eyes they're gorgeous. I just noticed how they change and I think they're nice. Why do they change?" Ed asked eyebrows up in interest

"They do that to show what I'm feeling inside, basic emotions like, anger: blackish brown, excited: light brown, happy: sparkles and sad: pale dark brown," Jade finished looking through the menu.

"What about chocolate brown? Your eyes seem to be that colour when you look at me,"

"Chocolate brown is…" Jade tried to hide her growing blush behind the menu "Chocolate brown is love and caring," Ed started to blush to and called the waiter over.

"What would you lovely couple like for this evening?" asked the waiter picking up the menus and his book.

"I would like a light salad and your _Ecrevisses au gratin _(French for Crayfish tails grantinated with hollandaise sauce), please," said

"And you sir?"

"A glass of red wine and your _Blanquette d'agneau au safran _(French for Blanquette of lamb with saffron sauce), thanks," Ed answered handing the last menu to the waiter

"Anything else?"

"No thank-you," they both replied at he same time, as the waiter walked away Jade started to giggle and Ed gave a grin

"What's so funny, oh flower of mine?" laughed Ed as he picked one of her clips off the plate in front of her.

"Oh Edward don't call me that and did you know you just ordered a meal for four people?" Jade started to laugh harder "Are you sure you can eat all that oh love of my life?" Jade quoted, Ed put on a very serious face as he looked up at Jade.

"Oh course I can," he pouted looking down again to the tablecloth, Jade looked very confused.

Roy started to laugh, their tables were quite close and he had just heard that whole conversation, Riza looked at him funnily and decided he was going crazy.

At the end of the evening (about 11:30) Edward led Jade from the restaurant into the brightly lit city of Central. Edward quickly led over to the park across the road and quick as possible into a clearing filled with moonflowers and evergreens. Jade gasped as she let the scent of the flowers flow around her. Ed just watched as she walked gracefully through the thick underlay of flowers. _She belongs here I can just feel it_.

"Uh, Jade,"

"Yes?" Jade replied leaning down close to his face. Words escaped him and in a moment her mouth was on his Ed kissed passionately and felt Jade kiss him back. The couple ignored a loud thump as a large number of girls fainted on the ground.

**

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Week 3: The Photo's**

Roy groaned as an incessant chatting toward the foot of his bed woke him. Looking up he tried to focus and was sharply awakened when he saw a large number of his class was seated at the foot of his bed. They looked up as he started to get out of bed.  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING IN MY HOUSE?" as he stood up he realzed what he was wearing. His boxers. A number of the girls swooned and fainted. Roy groaned.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Riza screamed as she lifted two large guns from the bed side table. The girls screamed as Riza started to fire at them. As soon as all the girls were out of the room Riza started to shoot at Roy.

"CLEAN UP THIS MESS RIGHT NOW!" Roy hurried into the lounge to see the girls hadn't left yet. They were sitting on the ground petting Hayate.

"GET OUT," Roy yelled at the calming girls. They quickly stood up bowed and hurried out the door. Roy mumbled to himself how bad the day was going to be as set up plastering the wall.


End file.
